Not too long ago, I was chatting with a group of young women about their thoughts on sexual empowerment. Many of the young women in the group were of the belief that sexual empowerment was all about the “pussy.” The consensus of the group was based on the belief that since “I have a pussy, I can have sex therefore I am empowered,” “I can please my man,” “My baby daddy keeps coming back to me over all his other baby momma’s, so I must be doing it right,” “My pussy that wet-wet,” or “Wearing my freak’em dress to the club, so I can show’em what I be working with”
As I listened to these beautiful brown young women laugh, sometimes roll their eyes and in many ways embrace the images of hyper-sexualized women in the media i.e. “video chicks,” “girls on TV,” and “reality chicks,” etc., I was not at all surprised; for these are the images that our young women see and aspire to be. These are the images that they identify with because after all, “they the ones who getting the men and the money cause they boss bitches!”
Now who’s fault is this?
Do we blame the media for their portrayal of Black women’s sexuality? Do we blame generations of patterns that have been passed down from grandma to mamma? Do we blame the social determinants that are unique to communities or color? Do we blame the schools for their lack of comprehensive sexuality education? Do we blame the church for failing to talk about healthy sexuality from a moral as well as a public health standpoint? Do we blame politicians for pushing their abstinent only agenda, that is until it becomes their child, or do we blame institutions that create these systemic barriers that make it hard for women and girls to access the education, prevention and care services they so desperately need? The list goes on but regardless of where we decide to point the finger and place the blame, the fact of the matter is that we have failed them! We are losing too many of our young women and girls to unintended consequences of sexuality. So now we have to accept the responsibility. What we have swept under the rug for so long, kept hidden behind closed doors, or remained tight lipped about is now walking out our doors half dressed, scantily clad in tight clothing, wearing high heels and operating under the belief that just because she has a pussy she’s sexually empowered.
What do we do?
Break the cycle! Have the Conversation!
I left that group knowing that there was still so much more work to do! I left that group affirmed that my message of healthy sexuality and sexual empowerment was needed more than ever; and not just for young women but all women. We have been so brainwashed about sexuality that we are lost; perhaps by no fault of our own but nevertheless lost. Many of us have never had the conversation. Many of us just simply do not know because we have not been taught or told anything different. Therefore, I must continue to remain at the forefront of the conversation. I refuse to idly stand by and watch our women, young and older; continue to make poor choices regarding their sexuality when I can do something about it! I refuse to let anyone stifle my voice! I’m about the business of saving lives! If you’re not, then move out of the way because you’re part of the problem. Please kindly step aside and let me do the work!
Because having a “pussy” does not make you sexually empowered! It simply means that…. you have a “pussy” or shall I say a vagina! That’s it!
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