Lilith…Facing My Dark and Wicked Truth

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The spiritual journey to Becoming is all about learning new things while Re-membering exactly who you are. I can definitely say that my experience has been nothing short of powerful! While I absolutely love this Re-membering and learning all about my Self, it has not always been flattering! In fact, I have been downright pissed off with some of the things that I’ve learned about my(s)elf. Like…who really wants to learn something about themselves that’s less than favorable? That’s some difficult -ish to process, especially if you’re not ready to unpack it!  And that’s exactly what happened to me. I was not ready…

Busted wide da F ! open…

So…one evening after I had just finished taking a womb wellness class, I was all excited to do my homework assignment. The assignment was to connect with my womb space using mediation and breath work. The purpose of the assignment was to learn how to utilize the power of the womb to manifest our intentions and desires. 

I laid down, placed my womb mudra over my womb space and began breathing.  After a few moments of meditative silence and deep womb breaths, I could feel the energy circulating in my womb! Excited! I drew in a few more deep breaths, allowing them to fill my womb space.  As I exhaled, I asked my womb to tell me her name. Silence! No response. I was not too disappointed by the lack of response because after all, this is something new I was incorporating in to my life so I was aware that it may take some time to really tune in and connect to my womb. However not wanting to feel defeated, I continued to lay there breathing and speaking lovingly into my womb. I asked my womb her name once more. Suddenly, I felt a twinge of energy in my womb space. Then I heard a soft and gentle voice respond….Lilith! Oh My Goddess….my womb’s name is Lilith! In that moment, I was so excited that I jumped up, grabbed my cellphone and began researching the Goddess “Lilith!” 

As I searched for articles on the Goddess Lilith, my excitement began to diminish quickly. I started to become very sad and then angry. The articles that I found about the Goddess Lilith were absolutely mortifying! I even put my phone down and got on my laptop to read the articles, hoping that that would somehow magically erase what I had previously read on my cellphone.

Although the origins of the Goddess Lilith are shrouded in mystery, article after article depicted her as this dangerously dark figure of uncontrolled sexuality who traveled on the wings of demons, stealing babies and fertilizing herself with male sperm to give birth to other demons. There are so many myths regarding the exact identity of Lilith. According to mythology, she was the original woman created before Eve. She was purported to be Adam’s first wife. However, it is believed that because Lilith felt that she was created equally, from the same dust as Adam, that she did not need to submit to him. Refusing to be submissive to Adam, sexually or otherwise, Lilith was kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Some myths also suggest that Lilith returned to the Garden of Eden, in serpent form, to trick Eve in to convincing Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. Regardless of her origins, Lilith has constantly been demonized.

Lilith…a demon…Say what now? Da fvck you mean a demon?

After a few hours of searching and reading about 20 articles or so, I just sat there in disbelief immediately rejecting my dark! How could MY womb, the seat of MY soul, My Knowing….be named Lilith? The narcissistic ego in me could not, would not… just simply refused to accept this! MY ego did not allow me to accept this inherent darkness.  So, of course, I got back on my laptop and continued to search until I found at least one article that “I” – MY ego felt was befitted of who “I”- MY ego thought “I” was. Because after all, “I” simply could not be Lilith! 

The article I finally found described Lilith as a dark goddess who speaks from deep feminine attunement to the mysteries of the life-death-rebirth cycle. The source of her wisdom and power is hidden, subtle and sacred. Now that depiction of Lilith was something that “I” – MY ego, could accept. And therein lies the problem…I was trying to soothe my ego by rationalizing, covering up and hiding the true essence of my darkness. I was running from MY darkness but why?

Society, family, culture, religion, etc. teaches us to fear the dark because that’s where the demons, bad spirits, devils, monsters, boogeyman, evil folks, etc. lurk…therefore, we must avoid the dark at all cost! It’s scary! It’s too wicked! This myth creates duality and dissonance because it teaches us to avoid the inherent parts of ourselves. When we ignore and avoid parts of ourselves we create an alternate world, a “safe” world…one that is more acceptable yet more damaging. We naively believe this world keeps us protected because it gives us the ability to hide behind the veil. However, it’s actually an illusion that becomes our disservice and can ultimately destroy us. 

Realization…OUCH! 

Damn! You meant to tell me that all of this time I was living an illusion. 

Shattered…

I was operating under the guise of empowerment when in fact I was afraid of my true Power…my LightMY SELF!

Now, I am completely broken…

Enter Goddess Lilith

So…they say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. That’s why Lilith showed up! Apparently, I was ready because Bay-Bay….Lilith showed up in all her amazing and dark glory! And when I tell you she hit, she hit me hard too! I felt a pain that I had not ever felt before. She brought that fi-yah…that soul stirring pain…that heart breaking, gut wrenching pain…BUT it was necessary! It was The Crucible…

Lilith can be a quite uncomfortable Goddess to have contact with. She will show you your shadow and all the things we like to hide from and/or hide within. For many of us darkness brings up the scary unknown! And Lilith challenges us with what we fear most, what we haven’t embraced, what we’ve buried so deeply or swept under the rug and tried to forget. Lilith also represents the deeper, darker fear we have of women. Our sexuality and magic has been stolen, repressed and subjected to the severest and most inhumane controls dating all the way back to slavery and still remains present in today’s patriarchal society.

This complex combination of dark mixed with societal narratives, ancestral conditioning, DNA disruptors, familial values, cultural mores, spells, projections, all fighting against internal Spirit Knowing contributes the dissonance that we experience…that I was experiencing. It also prevent us from being able to move from a place of Love. It keeps us from accessing that authentic Light that resides within all of us.

Lilith appeared to teach me that because I had resided in this optical illusion of light so long, my perspective and perception of who I am was real. It had become distorted. My eye, third, was not focused on the Light. I had been tricked and I was seeing things incorrectly. This distortion was causing me to operate from a wounded space of inauthenticity. This wounded space caused a trickle down effect; creating dissension, DIS-ease, disease and imbalance in every dimension in my life. 

She also taught me that Light is born out of darkness. Lilith was my womb! And just like a baby in their mother’s womb, I was being nurtured! I was developing. I was being pushed…contracted to travel through the deep and dark birth canal towards the Light. I was being (RE) born. And just like that, it hit me! I began to realize that I was not just the good “acceptable” depiction of Lilith, but rather I was both…the light and the dark! I was two rivers integrating so that I could become that witch I AM!

Integration of the dark and light….

We must dig deep into the shadows of our soul, to the roots, in order to find the source of our darkness, fears, traumas, anxieties, etc. When we do, we stand face-to-face with the undercurrent of our dark essence that needs to be acknowledged and healed. We also generate a major universal shift in the collective consciousness and human “being” of the Divine feminine.

The darkness of our psyche holds the greatest potential for healing and growth. When we fully enter into the darkness, boundaries and limitations expand by dissolving our self, (small s) i.e. resistance, fears, anxieties, traumas, etc. The ego dies and we find freedom. We become!  Lilith reminded me that it was time for me to get back to the heart of my Self (big S) by embracing those things that were deeply rooted in my primal brain so that I could begin to unfold.

I am no longer afraid of the dark in fact

Like Lilith, I too have been shrouded in mystery, misunderstood, unfairly cast down and destroyed by family, friends, etc. because they did not understand my free spirit, my values, my beliefs, my audacity, my different. I have been the target of rage, shame, guilt, frustration, etc. because I choose to stand in my authenticity and truth. I am not conventional nor do I care to conform to mainstream patriarchy, societal, cultural, familial, religious, etc. -ish! For many, who I AM is too dark! It’s too scary! It’s too uncomfortable! It disrupts their “normal,” whatever that is. Their discomfort with me created, intended and unintended, layers of trauma which became the root of my darkness. 

Although my journey to and with Lilith has been a very dark, messy, sometimes scary and painful one, I now love and embrace the Goddess Lilith within me! I AM so grateful that she showed up in my life! I AM grateful that she is apart of me! No bandaid, salve, tincture, or gauzes can cover our gaping wounds. There isn’t a quick fix! No add water and poof …I’m healed! Nor will smudging, readings, spiritual books, crystals, religion, church, faith leaders, pastors, gurus, healers, prayers, etc. alone fix it. WE have to take action! We have to make the journey, often times alone, in order to be transformed into our greatest Self!

“The Lilith in us will accept nothing less than our true individuality, not in the sense of separateness, but in the sense of who we are intrinsically.  When we are secure in acknowledging and expressing our true Self, we no longer falsify ourSelves in order to be accepted by others because who we are is more than enough!”  ~Unknown

While I AM certainly not a dark figure of uncontrolled sexuality who travels on the wings of demons, stealing babies and fertilizing myself with male sperm to give birth to other demons. I AM definitely Lilith! I own HER…unapologetically! She is my muse for female empowerment, authenticity, and the act of reclaiming the dark parts of my Self that are vital for living free and unapologetically – no fear, no guilt, no regrets, at all cost. 

And I shall live…for I simply cannot embody anything else!

Giving thanks to The Most High! For everything Spirit does is Good! And now, I sit in gratitude and humility for this Knowing and Being Lilith… I AM!

Ase’

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She All Spiritual and -ish!

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Yup, I’m a Spiritual Bewitching Magical Wild Ass Chick! I embody the spirit of a Goddess and the soul of several lifetimes!  I AM a Witch and I own that, unapologetically! But here’s the think, although I knew who I was, I didn’t Know who I was….big difference! But once it had been revealed to me and I began to See how I had been Chosen, Consecrated and Initiated for this Purpose…oh Ba-bay! My life changed! My Purpose and path became so clear! The embodiment of my Passion became more authentic! And my Spiritual journey to my Remembering began!

The Integration

So check this out, “love and light,” spiritual growth is not necessarily what hollywood or social media would have us to believe. Being a spiritual person is not living in this untouchable bubble pretending that ALL is well. It’s not smiling all day, everyday being all positive and shit. It’s not necessarily about being a vegan, numerology, doing yoga, mediating, sages, crystals, cards, rituals, energy and sound healing, spiritual quotes and channeling ancestors and/or Spirits because that may not work us! Forcing ourselves to do or be something that does not resonate within our Spirit or that does not feel good to our Soul….is pretty much pointless. It defeats the Purpose of a spiritual journey, which is to ascend to our highest Self.  In addition, trying to fit in to a space and abide by some “spiritual script” that does not resonate becomes the same false dogma and indoctrination that has kept us bound for so long! 

We must shatter the carefully constructed veil of self…ego, repressed by the shadow that is lurking underneath, cloaked, rationalized, and hidden deep within our Soul. We must dig deeply into the shadows of our soul and do the work! Doing the Soul work, meaning that we have to break the spells, patterns,  projections, judgements, beliefs, resistance, needs, scripts, etc. that have been encoded within our DNA and passed down from momma and them. We also must begin to reject and release cultural conditioning, societal narratives, religious indoctrination, norms, relational roles and beliefs which no longer serve us. And of course, that Soul work will look very different for each of us.

The Journey and The Path

Spiritual growth is not about walking the same path that someone else is walking. Our spiritual path is just as unique and individual as we are. It should be tailored specifically to us..where we live, our values and beliefs, our intuitive abilities, our passion and interests, etc. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly okay to learn from others and to use some of their teachings and/or tools. However, the spiritual journey is all about finding our truth! It’s about embodying our authentic Selves!  It’s a way to reclaim the Divine within us!

As for me

My spiritual journey is a way of life! My path is a funky, electric, eccentric, bohemian hodgepodge of amazingly dope shit! Being a vegan doesn’t work for me. It’s not my thing right now and I’m good with that. Besides, I still love me some dairy products! I mediate daily, some days longer than others. I do yoga or some other type of sensual movement when I feel like it. I love energy, vibrational tones, water,  and crystals healing. It’s very calming to my Spirit. I also loooove card readings, even though sometimes I get mad with the cards when they reveal my shadow side. Nevertheless it’s the truth and I embrace it. I do rituals, especially in conjunction with the moon cycles, to help release my -ish! I stay talking to and seeking guidance from Spirit, my ancestors, Ascended Masters and my womb, Lilith – and that’s a whole different story!  I see repeating patterns of numbers ALL everyday, er’day. While using sacred white sage to cleanse my space of negative energies and entities, I like to bust it down and twerk to trap music. I say the word fvck, in any variation, quite often and it feels so fvcking good to my Soul! Most importantly, I trust my Self! Some days it’s all of these things. Other days, it’s none of these things. Some days I’m tired of spiritualizing! Some days I cannot get enough of it! One thing that’s certain, is that it’s hard work dealing with your healing! But I have definitely found what works for me! As I continue to transcend, I Know that perhaps some or even all of these things may no longer serve me and I am ok with that too!

Now, does this mean I am any more spiritual than anyone else? Ab-so-fvcking-lutely NOT! It just means this is my path!  My journey is soul stirring shadow work..the light and dark…the integration of two rivers to Become that Witch I AM. And I’m here for it!

At the end of the day, all I’m simply saying is find what works for you my Beloved and fvck everything else!  It’s really just that simple….

Consider this your invitation to begin your journey and find your own path today!

Aṣẹ, Amen, Awomen

Muted: The moment the music stopped and why I won’t say his name after this article

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Like many other folks I was a fan of R Kelly’s music! I didn’t see anything wrong with a little bump and grind, I definitely was down with 12 play and I was all for that honey love. Song after song, hit after hit, I could go on about this guy’s undeniable musical genius and his incredible musical talent that he’s shared with many other artists that we love. 

The Accusations, Rationalization and the Realization

Buried in the midst of the music, was a predator that lurked, using his platform as a playground. Protected by celebrity, fame, money, power and a team of people, he  used it all to his advantage. But, I was too busy listening to the music to pay attention to all the allegations. 

And beside after all, that was his “personal” life and that was separate from his musical career, right? Or was it? I just loved the music! And of course, I didn’t support his behaviors having been a survivor of abuse myself, or did I? And the whole Aaliyah marriage thing was just a fluke, right? Or was it? 

Finally, after the years of allegations and the infamous sex tape – which I refuse to watch because it contributes to the glorification of the abuse, I began to wonder why I continued to listen to his music. It’s simple…we justify and rationalize our thoughts, behaviors and actions based on what feels good to us. And what felt good to me at the time was the meaning I had assigned to the music.

 I had so many great moments, memories, experiences tied to his songs, whether I was in high school listening to “vibe,” in college and I “seemed like I was ready,” or I was slow dancing with my crush while he was “feeling on my booty.”  Those and many others were my songs for real no doubt, and the reason I didn’t want to stop listening to the music was because in some way I felt like I was letting go of those memories moments and experiences that was tied to the music. However, once I realized that I would never lose what I held near and dear to my heart even without the music, I was no longer blinded by the beat. And when I woke up and really began to listen, I began to see just how my “loving the music but not the man’s behaviors” still in many ways created a playground for him to feast on.

Muted…the music stopped

I made a conscious decision to stop listening to the music. Continuing to listen to his music, continued to make him relevant. Having conversations about the music also continued to make him relevant. By having conversations that focus on him, the celebrity, the entertainer and his music kept him in a position of power and I no longer wanted to give him that power!

I also realized that if we stop making him relevant by taking the focus off of the celebrity and focus more on the behaviors related to sexual assault/abuse, including the systems that failed the survivors and predator  (family, judicial, legal, political, social, institutional, etc.) systems, the systems that protected and continues to protect the predator, the power and financial dynamics the can perpetuate abuse, the culture of silence around sexuality that teaches and perpetuates low self-esteem, shame, stigma and guilt, etc. then the focus becomes  those aforementioned factors instead of the individual and his celebrity. Continuing to make him relevant further gives him the position of power and feeds the narcissistic behaviors that enables him to continue the cycle abuse.  

In my opinion, the conversation should focus on the culture of silence that has been created around sexual assault within our families, churches, communities, etc. Sexual abuse has been going on for years. Yet, we continue to sweep it under the rug. The only time we want to have conversations about it is when a celebrity is thrusted into the spotlight. Then everyone jumps on the bandwagon. Once the spotlight dims, it’s back to silence as usual. Never mind uncle such and such who has been having inappropriate relationships with kids in the family for years, is still being invited to every holiday dinner and no one says anything. We just don’t let the kids hug him. Or we’re so broken that we’d rather have a relationship or piece of a relationship than protect our babies from the predators that we’re allowing into our homes and calling them our man or woman. Or what about the leadership of the church having inappropriate relationships with children; yet we pray, sway, sing and continue to pay tithes every Sunday. Or how about the parents that are offering their child up because they have talent and all they see are the dollars signs, so they sacrifice their child for a coin. 

We also must talk about why we have not created a safe space for our men to heal from their sexual abuse. Instead we belittle and dismiss them when they try to heal from their emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, energetically, institutional, social, legal, etc. scars of sexual abuse. We must consider how these unhealed scars cross over into our relationships which furthers contributes to dysfunction and their ability to create and sustain healthier connections.

We must reduce the shame and stigma surrounding sexuality and sexual assault, so that we give a stronger and more unified voice to the survivors. We must address power dynamics and how it can serve as a catalyst for abuse.  We must address how privilege, fame and money can contribute to abuse. When we begin to have more of these types of conversations, we will begin to change the trajectory of our families and communities lineage and legacies. We will also be less likely to create a culture where the R Kelly’s thrive, and survivors do not receive justice. 

But as long as we keep making him relevant by focusing the conversation specifically on him, record sales will continue to spike and Black girls {and women} will continue to literally and figuratively be abuse and stripped of our sexuality. 

Black girls {and women} matter! Our sexuality matters! Our sexuality has been stolen, abused, stripped and denied for far too long!  I’m thinking like 400 years too long! We were brought to this country as erotic capital and economic resource. Unfortunately, we still continue to be used as such, however Master just disguised the plantation as entertainment, music, reality tv, sports, etc… 

Black bodies, both female and male, have endured and suffered enough abuse, sexual and otherwise in this country. The conversation should be focused on how we actively and effectively take steps to begin to dismantle this culture of silence, shame, stigma and guilt, one that does not necessarily include focusing on a specific celebrity or celebrities. 

My answer… turn of the radio and television and tune in to healing our families…

For as much as I loved the music and I really loved the music, I love Black women and girls more…

 

Secure Your Mask First!

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We spend so much time in a hamster wheel, running around in circles doing everything for everyone else that often we – do not have enough left for self. The unfortunate thing about this is that we actually think that it’s ok to continuously put our wants, needs, desires, self-care, etc. on the back burner. Well here’s the challenge with that mindset, by putting ourselves on the back burner, we eventually burn out and then what? ____________…. exactly…nothing! We eventually flatline!

 My question to you today My Beloved is….What are you doing to make an investment in yourself? I’m not talking about only monetary.  I’m talking about making an invest of time, care and love! I’m talking about an emotional, physical, social, mental, energetical and spiritual investment in your wellbeing! How are you showing up for yourself? Is it with the same level of commitment that you show to your jobs or for other people in your life?

Think about it! We spend so much time investing in things, that really don’t deserve our investment but yet we won’t invest in ourselves or if we do it’s at best a halfhearted attempt.  And what’s even crazier, is that we make excuses for why we don’t show up for ourselves. We say things like I’m too busy! My partner doesn’t agree with what I’d like to do. I don’t have the money. Or here’s my favorite excuse, I just can’t find the time. Trust me, I get it because I’ve used some of those same tired excuses. But that’s exactly what they are, excuse without any merit. They are self-defeating behaviors and blocks that prevent us from facing our -ish.  

Now here’s the funny thing, we can manage to find the money, time and everything else to pay for our hair, nails, etc. pretending to the world that we are living our best lives!  My Beloved, I gotta call a thing a thing! What we’re presenting to the world, is the surface outside stuff; but our inside is a whole mess! 

We must be willing to invest in our soul to heal and clean all that inner mess up! We must be willing to clean up all the mental, emotional, spiritual, social, historical, energetical, societal, institutional, DNA, ancestral, soul and womb wounds and related trauma(s). There’s no way we can be authentically living our best lives out loud and on purpose when we’re slowly and sometimes quickly dying inside. Now get ready for the real gut punch…. the reason we’re all dressed up and living out loud is because we’re really crying out for help! Not only that, but we cloud our mind with all the noise so we don’t have to face our -ish because its hard as hell! Nevertheless, peeling back layers upon layers of stuff, unpacking all that disappointment, heartache and pain, dissecting momma, daddy, sibling, family even partner trauma is tough! But it’s necessary!

My Beloved! I know! I’ve been through it! I had to forgive my familia trauma! I had to deal with religious trauma! I had to overcome an abusive spouse! I had to heal my disappointments and self-sabotaging behaviors! And here’s the big one, I had to forgive myself! But in order to do all that, I had to value myself enough to make an investment in myself!  I’m not talking about throwing a pity party and having cocktails and conversations with gal pal. I’m talking about real work!  I read books! I worked with a therapist! I got a mentor and healer. I prayed but also know that faith and prayer without works is dead! I had to take action to create momentum that could sustain my movement! I had to make an intentional investment in me. I had to secure my mask! 

I encourage you to invest in yourself! Do the work! You don’t have to do it with me! I don’t have a particular dog in the fight regarding who you do it with! But please, just do it! Value yourself enough to do it! Stop putting it off! If you don’t have the time, find the time. If your partner doesn’t get it, agree or support it….maybe you should consider if that’s the partner for you. Everybody won’t understand or support your growth, and that’s ok! However, don’t let it stop you! If you don’t have the money right now….ask the universe, The Spirit where can you get it. You’d be surprised how the universe and The Spirit will respond when you make your request known.

So again, my Beloved please secure YOUR mask FIRST before assisting others! It’s time to make an intentional investment in yourself! You deserve it!  You are worthy! You are enough!

F THAT! Don’t Shrink!

My Beloved! It’s Time To Heal!

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So, I just returned from an amazing weekend of healing and learning! I must say that it has been one of the most powerful experiences in my life to date! And what’s even more beautiful is that I had the honor of sharing this journey with a phenomenal goddess, sister teacher, mentor momma Tracey Bryant Swint of Love My Womb Academy and a sister circle of beautiful women from around the country!

During this empowering weekend, not only did I become a certified Goddess Steam Practitioner and Fertility Massage Specialist, I learned so much more about myself! I had no ideal how broken and fragmented I was. The pain and scars were deep! I gained a new understanding of how our brain really works hard to protect us from deeply embedded trauma, to the point that we do not even realize it’s there.  Another powerful take away from this weekend was the emergence of my sacred soul Purpose! Now of course, I have always known that I AM Sex! However, I just did not know that the depth and breadth of my Purpose would be something beyond this realm. This weekend I learned why I was Chosen and Consecrated! I learned why The Spirit gifted Me and needed Me to do The Work that I do! I learned that I am non-traditional, non-linear, multi-dimensional ethereal, sacred soul being of light, Spirit, heart, and healing. In other words, I’m goddess AF! 

As we participated in a variety of activities over the three-day period, the reoccurring theme for me centered on healing! It was very clear that I had to do the necessary “work” in order to transcend to the next phase in my LIFE! I had to unpack my -ish, deal with my negative spirits, cleanse my energy and make peace with my traumas – spiritual, emotional, mental, sexual, energetical, physical social, historical, biochemical, financial, institutional, etc. I had to face, feel, find, forgive and fvck all of that in order to heal!

Now what does it truly mean to heal?

I’ll be the first to say that the process healing is definitely not for the faint of heart! It’s not some cute “oh I guess I’ll do this healing thingy” cause “it’s trendy” for social media likes type thingy!  Healing is scary! It’s painful! It’s fvcking uncomfortable! It’s exposing vulnerability! It’s grief and loss of all kind! OUCH!! Who wants any part of that -ish? But in order to heal, it’s necessary! Healing is also reoccurring; meaning that it’s not a one-time event and BOOM….I’m healed.  Healing is a lifelong process that occurs on multidimensional levels – simultaneously and sometimes not. It requires consistent intention on our part. For the rest of our lives, we are healing.

As we move forward on our healing journey, it’s so important to remember that even though we may feel like we have already “done the work” to overcome a specific area or challenge in our lives, it may show up again. When it does, we tend to wrap ourselves in shame, guilt, embarrassment, and other negative emotions, which only adds to the layers of trauma and prolongs our healing. However, during those moments when we feel those negative emotions, it will be important that we lean into the discomfort, honor the emotion, extend ourselves Grace and ask Spirit what’s required of us within this experience. When we do this, healing occurs on a much deeper level of understanding! 

How do we begin to heal?

We begin the process by having an open heart and intentional vulnerability. An open heart allows receptivity. It means that we are open to whatever Spirit has for us to receive. Intentional vulnerability means that we have made an active choice to show up and be present in the experience. It means that we’ve removed all barriers and any preconceived notions of what our healing experience should entail.

Now notice that I did not say healing required us to be strong, brave or not afraid! Because at times during the healing journey, we will feel weak. We will feel like giving up. We will feel afraid. And all that’s ok!  Nevertheless, we must push through those limiting emotions, even if we must do it afraid. 

When we do push through, we begin to vibrate higher! The vibrational law of the universe begins to access and draw in all that is good! We become aligned with others who share our vibrational pattern and contribute to the love, wisdom and beauty of our lives. We become our highest self! And that, my Beloved, is the beauty of healing!

I emerged from the weekend as a new woman! I AM more entrenched in my sacred soul Purpose! I AM more aligned with my Soul Tribe! I AM more prepared to serve you! I AM THAT which I AM – non-traditional, non-linear, multi-dimensional ethereal, sacred soul being of light, Spirit, heart, and healing. In other words, I’m goddess AF!  And even though this experience has changed me and I have completed this level of healing, I know there is so much more to come! Although I do not know when, where, or how, I now reside in a space of honor and gratitude because I can appreciate the beauty in healing! 

My Beloved, what’s keeping you from healing? It’s time to reclaim your life and rewrite your story! It’s time to walk in your Purpose and authenticity! It’s time to unpack the trauma, close the door on pain and get rid of all the lies and deception that have been weighing you down all these years! I know it’s scary BUT I’m here to support you along the way! That’s what my brand is all about! That’s my sacred soul Purpose, my life’s work….to hold space for you! So whenever you’re ready to do the work, I got you my Beloved! I walk with you my Beloved! Now let me help you heal!

I AM Sex Masterclass starting 9/17

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For many years, society, religion, family, culture, race, etc. has told us how to express our sexual selves. These things have placed us in box, that did not leave much room for variation. In fact, it has contributed to the trauma and unhealthy layers upon layers of -ish! It’s no wonder many why so many people are unhappy or not living the lives they truly desire to live. It’s also very obvious that many people are settled for unfulfilling relationships, that at best offer lack luster intimacy and sexual pleasure.

What if you could truly be who you wanted to be? What if you could walk authentically in your sexuality? What would that feel like? What would that look like? What would happen if we could begin to heal and celebrate our sexual selves? Life would take on a whole new meaning and we would begin to vibrate and operate from our true authentic selves attracting all the things we desire!

The I AM Sex Masterclass is great for those who are truly committed to unpacking their -ish, healing and moving past all the layers of stuff that’s been holding them back, so that they can own their sexuality, experience their authenticity and vibrate and operate from their highest self!

Now what will I learn? You will learn…

What it means to truly embody your sexuality
The real deal about sexual empowerment
All about the Human Sexual Response Cycle
Barriers to sexual pleasure
Models for sexual pleasure
The different types of orgasms
How to increase sexual pleasure
How to communicate sexual desires
How to take care of your sexual health
All about Sexual Choreography

And so much more…

Click here to learn more!

 

F THAT! Don’t Shrink Masterclass Starting Sept 22

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Where does the courage come from to walk away from it all and begin to live? How do we become confident enough to forego the societal norms, cultural mores, antiquated beliefs, and traditions so that we can live out loud and on purpose?

How do we live LIFE on our terms without sacrificing too much ourselves in relationships? Where do we find the strength to say F! That and step out boldly and audaciously into our authenticity? If you’re like me, you’ve asked these questions a million times. Well guess what? I’ve finally found the answer! I’ve learned to say F! That! I refuse to shrink!

If you’re not ready for authentic transformation, then this class isn’t for you! It’s ok, to click off this page and continue on existing the way you have been! BUT if you’re ready to do the work to live the life you’ve always wanted, then I strongly encourage you to sign up for this class to begin your journey TODAY!

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Join The SoulTribe

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The SoulTribe is created specifically with purpose and intention to help offer guidance along our journey to healing, discover, exploring, honoring and celebrating ALL that we are and will become! It’s a space to hold our authenticity – whatever that means to us!

The SoulTribe Lounge is an exclusive VIP, online safe space that was specifically created for you to say F THAT! and begin to unpack the -ish that’s been holding you back from walking in your authenticity. It’s necessary! It’s self-care! It’s permission! It’s forgiveness! It’s growth! It’s for YOU and for ME! It’s our sacred space!

It’s here we will do “THE WORK!” We will hold ourselves accountable! We will feel our pain and fill our pain with Purpose! We will manifest with intention! We will transcend to our highest self! WE WILL LOVE!!! YES! WE WILL LOVE OURSELVES UNAPOLOGETICALLY!! F THAT!

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2018 Bedroom Kandi Convention

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I was blessed again this year to be one of the speakers for the annual Bedroom Kandi Convention in Atlanta! When I tell you that it was truly an amazingly beautiful and empowering experience to chat, hug, reunite, and meet some awesome people from all over the country, it would be an understatement.

From the time I arrived Friday morning at 7:05AM, yup I took a red eye, it was on! The Bedroom Kandi Consultants (BKBCs) had already taken over the Hilton Atlanta Airport! Friday afternoon was filled with various workshop running concurrently. Friday evening, we enjoyed a cocktail meet & greet with entertainment by the boss lady herself, Kandi, and the amazing Kelly Price. Saturday afternoon including training on products. Bedroom Kandi President, Nadine Thompson, Bedroom Kandi co-owner, Suki Dunham, Dean Elliott, Founder & CEO of Sliquid and LaTanya Tibbs, the original “V-Bar Lady” shared their expertise on products within the BK line. One major surprise and highlight of the day was the launch of Kandi’s new makeup line “Kandi Koated.” On Saturday evening, everyone got all dolled up for an awards dinner and celebration. Sunday began with a gratitude service followed by a training session with Dr. Nicole Haig. Yours truly engaged the audience in a brief but powerful chat on “New Trends in Sex Ed.” You can check out the video on my website. I also had the opportunity to participate on a panel with Dr. Rachael Ross of the TV show The Doctors, Dr. Nicole and Gail Crowder. Sunday’s session ending with words of inspiration from Dora Chambers. Kandi closed out the convention by motivating the BKBCs to continue their journey to becoming a BOSS!

The entire weekend was filled with love, laughter, education, healing and lots of fun! It was like a family reunion! As always, the Bedroom Kandi team and consultants were very warm and welcoming! To be a part of such a dynamic environment is not only inspirational but powerful! To witness the BKCBCs sharing tips and techniques, supporting and encouraging each other in their entrepreneurial endeavors was awesome!
But now I’m tired and my eyes are still red…..LOL

Please Touch Here For Pleasure! 8 Sexual Turn Ons You’ve Been Missing Out On!

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When it comes to sex, it’s important to keep things spicy! Always touching, exploring, stimulating the same ole erogenous zones i.e.. breast, clitoris, nipples, neck, lips ears, etc. gets boring! And besides the muscles hold memory, making it increasingly difficult to become aroused by the same ole stuff! It’s time to switch it up a bit and learn some new places to touch! Thinking outside the box can be really beneficial when it comes to sex play! Not only can it build trust and increase intimacy, it can also increase sexual pleasure by helping you find unlikely erogenous zones! Check out the 8 sexual turns on you’ve been missing out on:

1. One of the most sensual places to touch is the stomach area between the pelvic bone and belly button. Gently stroking, massaging or licking encourages blood flow to the entire sexual region which helps to increase sexual excitement.

2. When stimulated properly, the soles of feet can be very arousing. It also relieves stress and elevates libido by activating glands and hormones that increase sexual drive. Lightly pressing or massaging along the inner edge of the middle part of the foot relaxes the pelvic area improving the circulation and blood flow to the genitals. Also, starting at the ball of the foot and rubbing down towards the heel can increase blood flow which can help to increase orgasms.

3. The front of the hips, inner thighs and just above the knee are lesser known erogenous zone. Massaging this area will loosen up the hip flexors and get the blood flowing in these areas. It also makes it easier to rotate the hips and move in and out of various sexual positions.

4. The mons pubis commonly referred to as “the triangle” area is highly sensitive and very stimulating when lightly stroked or licked. Gently applying pressure with tongue or finger will encourage blood flow to genitals. Also using a low intensity vibrator will send intense rhythm vibrations through the pelvic region helping to increase orgasmic intensity.

5. It’s true that eyes are the gateway to the soul. They are also the gateway to intimate and sexual connection with your partner. Gazing loving into your partners eye in the heat of the moment can send energetic vibrations that resonate throughout their body. This vibration heightens the increases the heart rate, increases blood flow and increases the orgasmic intensity.

6. There’s nothing more sensual than breathing deep rhythmic breaths with your Beloved. Couple that with gazing into your lover’ eyes creates an explosive reaction. For a deeper intense and seductive connection with your lover, try Fire Breathing. Fire breathing ignites a hot sexual charge that moves rapidly through your body, helping to open all your chakra centers.

7. There’s nothing like a good mind f*ck! The mind is the biggest sex organ! Stimulate your partner with endearing and intoxicating words. Painting a picture with your words. Creating the visual will send magically vibrations that will touch their souls, open their heart and release sexual inhibitions.

8. Take your sexual experience beyond the physical realm with Tantric Sex. Tantric sex helps partners connect on a spiritual, emotional and mental level. Partners who practice Tantra experience unparalleled levels of ecstasy, including full body orgasms. Trust, the turn on level is real.

When it comes to learning exactly what stimulates and turns your partner on, “body mapping” can be extremely beneficial but not only that, it’s fun! Exploring all the nooks and crannies of your partner’s body can turn into a pleasurable adventure that’s leads to hidden erogenous treasures and powerful orgasm.