About a month ago, every social medial platform from Facebook to Instagram was buzzing with the catchy rap spit over a dope beat called “For the P!” Everyone from celebrities to everyday folk were uploading and sharing videos that demonstrated their lyrical love of the P. I must admit, many of the versions I heard were pretty clever while others were downright degrading. And while I get that it was all fun and games, as I listened to and watch many of the videos I couldn’t help but wonder if this viral demonstration of love for the P was an accurate reflection of how society feels about the P!
Now, as much as I dislike the word “P;” for several reasons, I must admit that the videos did help to spark a much need conversation about female bodies, sexuality and the need for more comprehensive sexuality education! However for as much good as it caused, the damage was as equally if not more detrimental. I say this because I think of the many young women who will now define themselves by the P! I also think about the many young women who will think that just because so many people made videos declaring what they will do for the P, that they will mistake this sex seeking behavior for love.
Not too long ago, I was chatting with a group of young women about their thoughts on sexual empowerment. Many of the girls in the group were of the belief that sexual empowerment was all about the “pussy.” The consensus of the group was based on the belief that since “I have a pussy, I can have sex therefore I am empowered and loved,” “I can please my man,” “My baby daddy keeps coming back to me over all his other baby momma’s, so I must be doing it right,” “My pussy that wet-wet,” or “As long as I’m giving him the pussy, my bae will do anything for me cause he loves me!”
As I listened to these beautiful brown young women laugh, sometimes role their eyes and in many ways embrace the images of hyper-sexualized women in the media i.e. “video chicks,” “girls on TV,” and “reality chicks,” etc., I was not at all surprised. For these are the images that our young women see and aspire to be. These are the images that they identify with because after all, “they the ones who getting the men and the money cause they boss bitches!”
Now who’s fault is this?
Do we blame the media for their portrayal of women and girl’s sexuality? Do we blame generations of patterns that have been passed down from grandma to mamma? Do we blame the social determinants that are unique to communities of color? Do we blame the schools for their lack of comprehensive sex education? Do we blame the church for failing to talk about healthy sexuality from a moral as well as a public health standpoint? Do we blame politicians for pushing their abstinent only agenda, that is until it becomes their child, or do we blame institutions that create these systemic barriers that make it hard for women and girls to access the education, prevention and care services they so desperately need? The list goes on but regardless of where we decide to point the finger and place the blame, the fact of the matter is that we have failed them! We are losing too many of our young women and girls to unintended consequences of sexuality. So now we have to accept the responsibility. What we have swept under the rug for so long, kept hidden behind closed doors, or remained tight lipped about is not walking out our doors half dressed, scantily clad in tight clothing, wearing high heels and operating under the belief that just because she has a pussy she’s sexually empowered and/or loved.
Well, I need you to hear me loud and clear! Having a pussy does not make you sexually empowered nor does it mean that just because someone has the game to convince you to “give it up” that they love you! All it simply means is that…. you have a pussy! That’s it!! Sorry, but not really sorry to bust your bubble!
I hear some of you saying “they made a For the D! rap too!” You are absolutely right! However, I’m not too concerned about that! Here’s why! The sexual double standard and the disastrous dream that society scripts for women and girls regarding sexuality is at best hyper-sexualized, biased, and contraDICKtory! It’s the script that continues to sell – literally and figuratively -women and girls short! Its the same script that disempowers and devalues the female body. So…..at the end of the day, no matter what he, she or society will do for the P, that should not be the only feature that defines us as women and girls because we are so much more than just the P unless the P means “Precious, Priceless, Prized!” Now make a rap and upload that! If not, then F! that! You can miss me with all that other -ish!